DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY

"I never met a cookie I didn't like."

j.e. matzer, actor

"If the body is an instrument, 

mine is in serious need of tuning."

j.e. matzer, actor

Before you can inhabit the skin of someone else, you must be comfortable in your own. Self-awareness is the key and such self-examination means stripping down and looking into a mirror and giving yourself a good once over. 

Well. Not once over, I guess. That's just awkward. Nobody wants to walk in while you're standing in front of a mirror giving yourself a good once over. Even though it does sound very British and proper. 

"Nigel? Yes. Well I walked into his room this morning rather unexpectedly and discovered he was giving himself a good once over. Poor chap. He was terribly embarrassed. So was I come to think of it. Oh well. Tea?"

The point is to look at yourself. Really look at yourself. Every wrinkle. Every nook and cranny. Every roll. Every pimple. Every inch. And by inch, I mean, if you've just stepped out of a pool...and it's really, really cold out. 

"I was terrorized by the emotional requirements of being an actor. 

"Acting is like letting your pants down; you're exposed."

Paul Newman, Time Magazine, Dec. 6, 1982

I know Newman was speaking metaphorically but as an actor you have to be prepared to drop your pants whenever you step in front of the camera. You have to expose yourself. If you're working in the adult film industry you have to do that a lot and act like you've never seen a pizza delivery guy before in your life. 

Acting is about truth. The truth hurts sometimes. Like a splinter under your fingernail or a kick to the nether region, which is not a realm in Games of Thrones. 

I make no excuses. I put on some weight this past winter. It was a long, cold, miserable winter and to compensate-and keep myself warm-I ate. I put on a nice layer of blubber and now it's time to lose those ten pounds. Which is why I was back at the gym this morning at 5:30 A.M. 

I like the gym. I really do. Aside from the physical benefits, working out allows me to clear out the cobwebs from my brain. Healthy body equals a healthy brain equals an actor who is one step ahead of the game. 

I must say I have no allusions (or is it delusions?) I will ever have one of those bodies that will land me on one of those Sexiest Men lists. I'm 50. I've never been an athlete. I come from a German background in which food was a form a communication and an expression of love. When I say food of course I mean pastries and bread. 

I don't drink or smoke or play the ponies. I do have a vicious sweet tooth however. The first time a trainer at the gym said we were going to do 25 crunches I started salivating. When he said "Close your eyes and envision yourself doing those 25 crunches," all I could see was me and one of those of Jack O' Lantern candy buckets filled with mini-Nestle Crunches. 

I thought to myself, "People hate coming to the gym? They have candy!"

It's never easy getting back into the gym routine, especially when your routine has you getting up before 5. It is the best time to work out really, once you drag your ass out of bed and into the car. 

Routine can only happen when there is self-discipline. Much like having a body that is a finely tuned instrument, an actor also needs a good measure of self-discipline. It's very circular. Everything comes back to everything else. 

I also like the gym because it's a great place to watch people. Not in a creepy way but in a good way. I watch people and make mental notes in the spiral notebook in my brain. A gym is an amazing place to see how people carry themselves and interact with others. This is a wonderful way for actors or artists or writers to witness humans in the rawest form.

Here's a few tips, though, on how to make this practice a good, positive experience in which you can call back on as an actor or artist or writer:

1. Don't stare. Observe. Trust me, there is a huge difference. I have two words for you: restraining order. 

2. If you're observing, don't do it from a partially closed shower curtain back into the locker room. This sends a completely wrong message and could result in someone asking if they can soap your back for you. 

3. If there's a naked person over the age of 70 nearby, do not observe them. If you have to, absolutely have to, make sure you don't make eye contact! If you do, trust me, they will come over to you, completely naked, and start a conversation with you. I have nothing against the elderly. I have nothing against nudity. Those two things together, however, is a recipe for awkwardness. 

I can't confirm this, but I'm pretty sure Actor Andy Serkis studied naked, old men for his performance as Gollum/Smeagol in The Lord of the Ring films. Like I said, I can't confirm this, but I stepped on a little old man's balls one time in the locker room as he stood in front of me, all naked and wrinkled like a baby bird, and the sound he made sound just like Gollum. 

Gollum Scream

4. Don't observe people in the sauna. Trust me. They're red and sweaty and miserable. Unless your cast as a lobster being thrown into a pot, you're not going to gain any valuable intel sitting on a wooden bench in a wooden room dripping perspiration. 

5. Don't observe in yoga class. This is just a mace-in-the-face moment waiting to happen. Even though your butts in the air, keep your eyes on the floor. 

Just watch the people in the gym, casually. Observe and listen. You never know when you might have to call on some of those images and sounds, when that strange way somebody has of walking will come in handy. 

Remember though you have work to do. It is a gym, after all. If you wanted to just watch people, you could go to the mall or park. 

Working out at the gym is a personal thing. It's about whatever you want to do. It doesn't matter if you just walk slowly on the treadmill or take one of those FAT DESTROYER or (my personal favorite) BUTTS AND GUTS classes. Do something to be active. Get your body moving. Grease the wheels and gears and rev your engine up to something beyond idle. 

I'll always remember what my sainted father said to me when I was about ten: "Get off the couch and away from that damn tv! Go outside and don't come back until you're 15! Slug!"

Brings a tear to my eye. 

Ride a bike. Lift some weights. Take a class. Sit on a giant ball and bounce. 

Do something. Clear the cobwebs. 

The benefits are undeniable. You will feel better once you get over the initial Oh-My-God-I'm-Dying-WHY-The-$%#&-Am-Doing-This?! stage that is. 

Actors come in all shapes and sizes. 

Not everyone is 5'7 and 160 pounds or whatever those imaginary perfect proportions are. 

And yes! With special effects and CGI and all that wonderful computer wizardry, actors can be taller or shorter or younger or older or fatter of skinnier. 

Look at Chris Evans in Captain America. Or rather, look at the before and after transformation of Chris Evans in Captain America. The before body of Steve Rogers was provided by Leander Deeny.

The after body, the body of Captain America, was the result of actor Chris Evans working his ass off in a gym, diet and self-discipline. 

The role he was cast in required a certain physicality and he achieved that goal. Here are some other actors who transformed their bodies for roles:

Christian Bale in The Machinist.

In 2004, Bale lost 60 pounds to play insomniac Trevor Reznik and then put back on the weight plus an additional 39 pounds to play Batman in 2005 Batman Begins. No special effects here, just diet and a little insanity. 

Robert DeNiro in Raging Bull.

For this 1980 Martin Scorcese film, DeNiro's weight reportedly ranged from 145 pounds to 215 pounds. 

Jared Leto in Raging Bull.

In 2007, Leto gained 67 pounds to play John Lennon assassin Mark Chapman in the film Chapter 27. Leto lost about 40 pounds to play Rayon in Dallas Buyer's Club. Leto has since vowed to never pile on the pounds again for a movie role, as he doesn't want to endanger his health. Then again, just recently. Leto said he wants to put a little weight on to play The Joker in Suicide Squad. 

Actors. Pshaw. 

Other actors who have lost or gained weights for roles include George Clooney (Syrianna), Anne Hathaway (Les Miserables), Matt Damon (Courage Under Fire), Charlize Theron (Monster), Renee Zelwegger (Bridget Jones' Diary), Tom Hanks (Castaway), Tom Hardy (Bronson), Vincent D'Onofrio (Pretty much everything he's ever done)

It is about personal choice. Workout if you want to not because you feel you need to because once you put that pressure on yourself you are setting yourself up for failure. 

And for Pete's Sake, lighten up and have some fun. 

If you choose to take a role which requires you to lose or gain weight then that's what you have to do. It's the job. It won't always be a question of fat suits or CGI. Sometimes you just have to do the hard work and use that frequent flyer card at Golden Corral. 

Beyond the job, though, you should be in good shape. Your instrument should be finely tuned. 

You should be able to work long days and do a minimal amount of physical activity without needing oxygen. 

I came to harsh reality when, during the filming of AMC's TURN: Washington's Spies Season 1, I was required to run uphill over and over again...with about 20 pounds of gear. Aside from just having undergone knee surgery, I discovered sadly, I was sorely out of shape. I could blame it on the fact I had been recovering from my recent surgery but the truth lies more in my love for pizza and sugar. 

I don't ever want to feel that irresponsible again. I had a job and I couldn't complete it. I blew it. And blew it out as it turned out. On Take 3 I stepped into a deep hole (my bad leg of course) which resulted in the POP! Heard 'Round The World. 

I have the knees of a 65 year old man. 

I bought them on Ebay. 

They're in a shoebox under my bed. 

Which brings us to the present.

I'm back in the gym with the wife. We've both vowed to keep going now that the days are warmer and we are no longer entranced by our electric blanket's siren song.

I'm going to the gym again because I want to feel better. I'm working out to maintain a certain level of physical well being and I'd like to lose some weight. Not because I think it's going to change my world, but who knows? I know I would feel better. About myself...about my ability to do certain things...about everything I guess. I'm not training for Mr. Universe. I'm not going to be pounding powdered protein shakes and farting like a bull with intestinal issues. 

I just want to be a little leaner and feel as if I look better in clothes: both costume and my every day street clothes. 

YES. That's a little superficial but superficial is part of this business. 

Trust me, there's nothing more sobering than seeing yourself on a movie screen, all stretched out 22 X 52. 

They say the camera adds 10 pounds. 

10?! 

That would make me...(gulp)

Holy shit! 

(putting down coffee cake and punching myself in the arm) 

To be totally honest, it's hard to work in this industry and not obsess with self-image. There's so much talk about the look. 

The LOOK. The freaking LOOK. 

It's the eternal (and internal) question actors ask: Do I have it? Would gaining or losing 15 pounds help achieve it?

Look. There are roles for the skinny guy. There are roles for the chubby guy. There are roles for the guy who is just right. When it comes down to it, it's about the actor and what he/she brings to character. 

If I get a part and need to lose weight I will do my best. 

If I get part and need to gain weight, I will do my best. 

I think I know where to get some doughnuts. 

Just keeping it reel. 

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